One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to his friend, Mike, who is in line behind him: “Man, my elbow really hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.”

“Listen, man, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike says.

“There’s this new kind of diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars. That’s a helluva lot cheaper than a doctor.”

Joe drives to the local Wal-Mart after work, stops in the Men’s Room and urinates in a small jar. He heads back to the computer, and deposits ten dollars, as directed by the directions displayed on the monitor. After a few seconds, the monitor displays a message to place his specimen into the slot in the contraption beside him. He does as directed, and after 10 seconds, the computer begins printing his results.

1. 1. You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart!

That evening, while thinking about this amazing new technology — located in a Wal-Mart store, of all places! — Joe began wondering if computer is some kind of gimmick. He decides to put it to the test.

The next day, Joe He mixes some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and adds a sperm sample of his, for good measure.

Joe drives back to Wal-Mart the following day after work, eager to check the results and see if the machine is all it’s cracked up to be. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his water, dog pooh, wife-and-daughter urine, personal sperm sample concoction, and awaits the results.

After 10 seconds, the computer prints the following results:

1. 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. 4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. 5 If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart!